Monday, July 28, 2003

How to Win yr gal from a “Better” guy!
3 Steps to win back yr true love


continued from [11/7/03]

Chapter 2

Step 2 - Enhance yr strengths, accentuate his weaknesses


“No man is infallible.”

In a recent poll conducted at Holland Village, it was ascertained tt one of the fundamental prerequisites most women want in their guy is height. Somehow it seems tt the ladies have conveniently correlated a man’s height to the amount of ‘an quan gan’ she derives from hanging out with him (much to the displeasure of the men present during the polls who were incidentally, all below 1.8m).

In another poll (done on the same grp of pp), it was discovered tt though height wins out, there is another trait tt women look for in men which is jus as important. And this being: a good conversationalist. Hence, as much as they want someone who can provide them with a sense of security when they r with, deep down, they also yearn for a guy who can provide them comfort though his words and can share their ideas, thoughts and lives.

The morale of the story is: If yr opponent is a taller person, the odds against u r proportional to the difference of both yr heights. The proportionality constant differs from individual to individual. However, do take heart as this does not mean the end of the world for u. So b4 u start running off to yr guy frens to KB, lets assess the situation again and look for possibilities…

Now, so wat if his taller than u?
If…
1. he’s a quiet person
2. he’s someone who prefers to keep to himself
3. those ard him usually have no idea wat’s on his mind

This might be yr best place to carry out Step 2.

Chapter 3

Step 3 - Declare yr intentions


to be concluded...

Friday, July 11, 2003

How to Win yr gal from a “Better” guy!
3 Steps to win back yr true love


continued from [9/7/03]

Chapter 1

Step 1 - Seize up yr opponent


“Know yr enemy, know yrself, every battle fought will be a battle won.” [Sun Tze]

Jus how good yr competition is would be the crux to determining an appropriate battle plan. Before u start to strategize, it is imperative tt you do a good background study of the challenger. Some fundamental qns tt comes to mind would be…

Is he tall?
Is he rich?
Is he a nice guy?
Is he good looking?
Is he a 1st class honours grad?
Is he appealing to women in an overall sense?

After finding the ans to those qns, the next set of qns u have to ask yrself…

Do I last 1 minute (average) into most of my conversations b4 I start complaining?
Do I keep saying I’ll fail my test and exams but end up getting distinctions?
Do I bet with pp if I’ll get into dean’s list when it’s a sure thing?
Do I complain excessively?
Do I get frustrated easily?
Is it a pattern in my life?

If u happen to encounter any difficulty in answering these qns, feel free to approach yr frens for assistance. Only when u have the necessary info required, r u ready to move on to the next step.

Chapter 2

Step 2 - Enhance yr strengths, accentuate his weaknesses


to be continued...

Thursday, July 10, 2003

To my dear Fan,

I read yr compliments with delight. I'll like u to know tt yr words made me giggle too. =)
Thanks for the boost to my self-esteem. Gives me a sense of purpose to continue dishing out crap.
Do wait patiently for the next few instalments. In the meantime, I urge all to contribute yr juicy info (reliability of info is not impt) to aid in my writing.

Regards,
Gossip Gu-niang

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

The following story I dedicate to someone whom I perceive as my most loyal reader in Blogger. I would like to take this opportunity to express my utmost appreciation for his support since the birth of this blog. He has been a source of inspiration for most of my work here. He’s also my biggest critic and at the same time my greatest fan.

I’ll like to pay tribute to this special someone...
You’ve been our source of fun and laughter, peace and joy.
You’ve brought colour to the mundane lives of engineering undergrads.
You’ve made NUS a memorable place in our hearts.
On behalf of the many pp whose lives you’ve brighten, Thank You!

How to Win yr gal from a “Better” guy!
3 Steps to win back yr true love


Prologue

So u wake up early in the morning feeling as if u've won Toto the night b4 and ready to take on the world. This energy stems from knowing yr true love has come back from her graduation tour in Japan. U r all excited cos its been 8 long days since you last seen her angelic face, heard her sweet girlish voice, msg-ed her on icq to chat abt how yr day has been and sms-ed her to report yr status. Jus thinking abt the wonderful things tt will resume from this day on make u beam with joy.

Alas, soon afterward joy turned into shock, shock turned into sorrow as u began to realize tt yr closest buddy. A fren since yr sec sch days has become yr arch rival in love. Already, the torment from his betrayal seem too much too bear but the thought of losing yr woman is unthinkable! U realise this will be as good as yr fight for survival bcos life w/o her is not worth living. As u brace yrself for the greatest challenge for the past quarter of a century, u grit yr teeth and recite in yr mind repeatedly tt this 1st class graduate will give his 100% and rise to the occasion!

Chapter 1

Step 1 - Seize up yr opponent

to be continued...

Monday, July 07, 2003

Wow, i really din expect other posts here.
Hmm... maybe its time i reward those who still faithfully check this column for updates with some juicy stuff!

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

hey pp, i jus got wind of a new gossip...
Anybody heard yet? it seems tt Kelly found a new soul mate after her overseas trip. Gosh man, Heatsink muz be sweating right now.